woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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