She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
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