Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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