:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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