We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
