I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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