i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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