My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize