its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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