marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
