...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
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