one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Randomize
