apparently the secret to your success is patron
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
