Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
