I'm eating all of the evidence.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
