booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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