Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
