Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Come share oat with me in your robe
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
