i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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