Sponge bath it is.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Randomize