fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
