We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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