sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
