i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
