I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
