If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
There's even glitter on my cock...
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