i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
