I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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