did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
