My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I feel great
I just peed on a car
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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