Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Randomize
