What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
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