Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Randomize
