at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Randomize
