Me too!
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
