i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Randomize
