hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize