you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize
