Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
