I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
