You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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