I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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