talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Randomize
