If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize