do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
