I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
