After last night, I could never be a politician.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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