...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
