you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
