sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize