Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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