Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
