Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
