Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
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