My balls are so social today.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
