Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize
