hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
