Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
