There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
