I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
