he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
