im drinking this country out of the recession.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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