Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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