Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
