There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize