I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize
